How to Know Certain Friends are for Keeps

Trust is one of the most fragile things ever existed. Why? It’s just how things among human beings work. It is a vital component of any relationship. And friendship is no exemption.

Ever since when we were young until now, we meet people in different walks of life. They just come and go. Some would just pass by while some are fated to be our long-time friends. Just like a boy-girl romantic relationship, we also have to work out the relationship we have with our friends. And just like finding a romantic partner, we mostly find friends who don’t clash our beliefs. Their personalities will just click with ours. Well, you’ll know when you find one.

However, our gut-feels fail us sometimes. We think that a certain person is meant to be a part of our life. But in the long run, we’ll know they are just there with us for some advantageous reason. This might not happen to all of us. But to some who are in such situation, be frank and talk to your friend. See if there’s a positive result. If your friendship is still at stake despite the initiative you made to clear up the situation you’re at with your friend, then it’s better for you to let go to prevent further damage for both of you. Make sure to let him or her understand well why such friendship isn’t worth keeping anymore.

In order to prevent such instances, it’s best to be finicky about choosing friends. To know if certain friends are for keeps, consider the following:

Attitude

As they say, “Birds of the same feather flock together”, this implies that you get to attach easily to people who have a similar attitude as yours. Of course, this notion is explained psychologically. You get to share the same interests and beliefs to such people.

Their seemingly likable attitude would make you feel you belong with them. By that alone, you can establish a good friendship with them.

However, make sure to be keen in observing such changes in their attitude. Some would just be nice at first but aren’t really what they are in the end. Some are just pretentious and fake just because they want something from you. Don’t let them get on your nerves. Try to talk to them about it and try to find ways to address any issues. But if they remain the same towards you, talk to them frankly if you have the guts, but if you can’t, then it would be better for you to stay away from them.

Make sure to choose those who are real in their intention of building up a friendship with you. They are the ones for keeps.

Real intention

Meeting a certain person is, at most, a destiny. Imagine that for all of the people around this world, those people whom you met are the ones who bumped you by chance. Some of them are unintentional while some have their own motives.

Considering nowadays, there are lots of unpleasant happenings in our society making us feel unsafe towards strangers. If by chance, you get to meet a certain person, better to be vigilant in his or her real intentions. He or she may have hidden motives towards you. Better not to attach immediately to a person whom you just met. Observe first and know his background if there are some things questionable about him, especially if such person just came out in your place without you knowing where he or she came from.

So, how do you know that a certain person has a genuine intention towards you? That he or she just want to be friends with you, without any reason but purely just wanted to befriend you? Well, you’ll know just by looking in their eyes. You’ll know it by feeling how they are towards you. Are they kind or good towards you? Are they just natural towards you? Did they consider you as a great friend? You’ll know when you share stories together, spend moments together, do some sorts of fun together and the likes. These are the people whom you want to be friends with. Like they are just the way they are towards you, no pretentions and no hidden motives.

Attachment

Some people just passed by us after we meet them for a short while. People come and go, as they said. We’ll just know them but not to the extent of building up a long-lasting friendship with them. Only those who remain with us for a longer period of time are the ones worth keeping for, we thought.

But, you know, a key to level up a friendship is the attachment or the bond that binds you up together. How? Well, by simply keeping always in touch together through chatting, spending moments together, and other bonding moments that you could name. Being attached to each other as friends gives you the feeling that these friends you have are the ones for keeps. Thinking of them right now? Yeah, you’re right! They are the ones you should keep.

Companionship

True friends are hard to find. Nothing could be truer than this adage when we talk about friendship. Some people are just there for you during your good times. But, you can test the real friendship you have with them when you’re feeling down or when you’re in an awful situation.

No one’s more worth keeping than that of a friend who had a pinky swear with you for being there in bad times and in good times and who has proven him/herself as a great friend and companion.

Acceptance

Friends aren’t just friends. They are more like brothers and/or sisters to us. As perfection is out of this world, anyone of us can’t escape of committing mistakes. By the time that happens, are you sure you’re confident of confiding such mistakes to your friends? Yes, there is fear – fear that they might not accept the reality, fear that they may not be the same towards you anymore, fear that they might unfriend you because of such mistake.

Conquer that fear, instead, think that it’s the way to measure how real they are to you. Real friends accept who you are and what you are. However, it depends on the extent and the level of the mistake you’re committed. If the mistake involves your friendship, then it could mean both of you will be dealing a hard time. It’s inevitable. But, that sort of dilemma also serves as a spice for your friendship. It can make your friendship stronger through times.

Those who survived in such instances with you, surely, they are the ones worth keeping for.

Friendship makes our life more meaningful. These so-called friends give us the opportunity to savor life and to taste the sweetness and bitterness together in a world full of surprises. We need them in the aspect of socialization. Thus, it’s better to know whom of them are genuine so are the ones for keeps.

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